The Tonight Show
Jay Leno: See all those people on the news walking around wearing those surgical masks, huh? Suddenly Michael Jackson not so crazy, huh?
The Colbert Report
Steven Colbert: President Obama got exactly the gift he wanted, an adorable new senator [former Republican Sen. Arlen Specter]. I just hope he is housebroken.
The Late Late Show
Craig Ferguson: [Iranian President Mahmoud] Ahmadinejad complained President Obama hasn't been returning his messages. No offense, Mahmoud, but maybe he's just not that into you.
The Colbert Report
Steven Colbert: Republican Sen. Arlen Specter has contracted donkey flu. Folks, this disease is now officially out of control. Back in 2004 we thought we had it contained to the coasts and the cities, but then it mutated and tore through the country.
Note from Denny: For the folks outside of America so you don't miss out on the inside America joke: donkey flu is a code phrase for changing your political party affliation to the Democratic Party.
The Tonight Show
Jay Leno: Biden isn't speaking out so much lately. Today, President Obama took some action. Did you see them together? Take a look. Duct tape. Look.
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Jimmy Kimmel: We have the first president ever who knows how to use Facebook, but his staff can't use Photoshop. Here it is, here is Air Force One and the Statue of Liberty, and look what else we can do. We can see President Obama walking on the wing.
Photo by Tansan @ flickr
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