Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Why is Trump Catching on Fire? What Would His Cabinet Look Like? The Hilarious Lowdown

From Denny:  My fellow media are flabbergasted that billionaire Donald Trump is rising so fast in the Republican polls.  The media is so entrenched in their collective bias that they refuse to take his candidacy seriously.  Hold on to your hats, folks, because Trump will survive far beyond the summer flavor of the month.  Come on; we all know that former President Bill Clinton secretly got him to run as a way to help clean house on the Republican candidates, paving the way for Hillary to win.  Well, that strategy just might backfire since Trump is catching on with the disgruntled middle class.

Well, Trump may be stupidly wealthy but he still knows how to talk Middle Class in his brash Brooklyn accent.  In fact, Trump reminds me much of the very bold personality of President Teddy Roosevelt. And, he is every bit as passionate about his views, with plenty of real fire in the belly running for President that the American public likes in a presidential candidate.  We certainly are not seeing any of that fire in the belly with any other Republican candidates and only with one Democrat candidate, Bernie Sanders...

Funny Outta Here Samsung Galaxy S5 Case

Translated from "I am so outta here!" to Cajun Louisiana slang: "I am a Gone Pecan!" In your best French accent: Gawn Pee-cawn. What sea life better to represent "Gone Pecan."
Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @  -  see what's new!  

Trump certainly is rising in popularity here in Louisiana among my Republican friends that tolerate me as "their favorite liberal friend."  Every Republican needs to tout they know at least one liberal.  :)  The whole state is still laughing at how Trump characterized his Louisiana presidential competition:  "Gov. Bobbly Jindal is such a zero." We all could not agree more. Even the polls bear it out that Jindal barely registers, hovering near zero.  Of course, I'm in my element arguing politics when among Republican friends and have a wildly good time doing so, all without acting condescending or dismissive of their arguments.

And that is something my fellow media have failed to learn:  how to love those they believe to be voting stupid.  After all, if those of us blessed with high intelligence and the ability to ferret out disingenuous agendas do not love those fooled and harmed by said hidden agendas and manipulations then what good is said high intelligence without love?

Has Trump unwittingly tapped into the intense voter anger in America?  Or has Trump always been playing this political tune?  Answer: For decades, try 30 years plus, he has been complaining about phony professional politicians taking better care of themselves than they have the American people. Trump has long complained about bad global trade agendas that have hurt the American worker, sending literally millions of jobs overseas, causing the economic stagnation we see today.

It's because of economic upheaval and low wages is why his slogan "Make America Great Again" is catching on with voters across the country, from Republican to Independent, creeping into the Democrat base.  Look out, Hillary and Bernie, Trump is on the move to win over your very loyal base.  Economic stability and progress is quite the heady aphrodisiac.

Hell, I'm tempted to vote for him because he is echoing back what the Middle Class has been grousing about for decades as the professional politicians sell out America.  I'm listed as an Independent to protect my vote from being thrown out or conveniently "lost" in this red state of Louisiana.  I'm also totally a proud liberal that realistically knows social programs are necessary to deal with poverty, the mentally ill and old age in this country.

Yet Donald Trump's message is compelling until you start extrapolating out what his cabinet might look like.  After all, the Republican Party is all about "standing in line" and "waiting your turn" like it's kindergarten.  You don't have to be competent or even knowledgeable about how to do the job, just "wait your turn" to be crowned king, uh, president.  Their philosophy would allow the Russian crime syndicate to "stand in line" and "wait their turn" until they could rob the country legally and completely.

Funny Outta Here Iphone Plus 6 Tough Case

Funny Outta Here Iphone Plus 6 Tough Case

Translated from "I am so outta here!" to Cajun Louisiana slang: "I am a Gone Pecan!" In your best French accent: Gawn Pee-cawn. What sea life better to represent "Gone Pecan."
Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @  -  see what's new!  

Since all the other Republican presidential candidates have been "waiting their turn" they, and the Republican establishment leadership, would expect these same presidential candidates to be recycled as Trump's cabinet should he win the White House.  What would that look like?

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker - Since Walker has such a "good" working relationship with the labor unions it's just bone head obvious that Trump would install Walker as Secretary of Labor.  Can you see this guy who never went to college, and, therefore, has zero training for a $20 trillion dollar annual economy, handling the national work force?

Wikipedia: "The Secretary of Labor exercises control over the department, and enforces and suggests laws involving unions, the workplace, and all other issues involving any form of business-person controversies."

Florida Gov. Jeb Bush - Now Jeb Bush is an indecisive man, taking five days to explain whether he would support his President brother Bush's decision to blow up the Middle East, starting the never-ending Iraq War.  He crawfished so much (that's Louisiana speak for backing up and walking backwards) that he finally came full circle and decided he would not change a thing.  

Since the Bush family is so fond of starting wars across the Middle East Trump would like to place him in his cabinet as Secretary of Defense.  After all, the Pentagon generals would make all his decisions for him, telling him what to think, what to do, just like his political strategists.  Bush could just read from the Pentagon script, happy to play the war profiteer puppet.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz - This guy is so adept at peeing on your leg and calling it rain that he should head up the NSA because we all know they never lie to us.  Yeah, baby!

Florida Senator Marco Rubio - This flash in the pan has been falling in the polls every time he whines or gulps water on camera.  He is so nervous every time he voices his opinion that I'm tempted to gift him a parcel post of Depends adult diapers to help him in his candidacy.  Since he likes gulping water copiously as he talks to the nation Trump thinks he would make a good placement as Secretary of the EPA, watching over America's environmental standards and laws.

Rubio wants to name a new water treatment plant after himself.  Of course, he does.  All while behaving as a twelve-year-old shaking like a trembling leaf giving his first speech in public.  How did this guy ever get elected to the U. S. Senate anyway?  Oh, that's right.  All those Republican ads do all the talking voice overs for their candidates because they know those candidates really suck at giving speeches.

Funny Normal Is Boring Mens Wallet

Check out this funny saying promoting the human race! Plenty more products like mugs and t-shirts, even shower curtains and pillows available in this fun design.
Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @  -  see what's new!  

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie - Trump knows that transportation screw ups are Christie's specialty:  think Bridge Gate where he closed an important bridge at rush hour traffic just to throw a political temper tantrum.  It's only fitting that Christie be promoted to Secretary of Transportation. Just think of the mayhem he could accomplish on the national scale.  Would that not be impressive?  Who needs Middle East terrorists when you enjoy your own home grown behavior problems in the Republican Party?

From Wikipedia:  "The Department's mission is to develop and coordinate policies that will provide an efficient and economical national transportation system, with due regard for need, the environment, and the national defense.  The Secretary of Transportation oversees eleven agencies, including the Federal Aviation Administration, the Federal Highway Administration, and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration."

Kentucky Senator Rand Paul - Since we haven't seen much of him lately Trump would view him as the perfect Vice President running mate in contrast to the wild loose cannon Trump personality.  Tea Party Libertarian Rand may never be heard nor seen again during the entire 2016 campaign, hoping to increase his chances of getting on the Trump ticket.  What a clever strategy.

Ohio Gov. John Kasich - Now this guy is quite fond of sending jobs overseas to China.  Of course, Ohio has been hardest hit by the job drain but don't mind that fact.  Trump would like Kasich as Head Trade Negotiator because the Chinese already know Kasich is only too willing to sell out American workers and love him for it.  Kasich is also rumored to walk around with happy little fortune cookies hidden in his pockets.  Kasich even has "the little old man" stance down pat as he acts like he's a bent over 90-year-old while "standing in line" at a Republican debate.

The Currently Under Indictment Texas Gov. Rick Perry - Trump laughs at Perry commenting upon how ridiculous it is to try and fool the American voters by suddenly wearing glasses to display how smart he must be.  He's so smart he's currently under indictment.  But hey! his choice of eye wear will make him the celebrated among the prison trustees.  But until then, Trump wants to install Perry as Secretary of Education.  He was smart enough to try and appear as if he's smart, so why not?

Arkansas Rev. and Gov. Holocaust Huckabee - This guy is well known for his articulate political correctness, relating the Iran nuke deal to "marching millions of Jews into the death ovens."  Trump knows this man would make the perfect Secretary of State.  Just think how popular Huckabee would be with the world diplomatic community, even more so than Bush's Condi Rice who believed that 15 minutes of dictating to a country was an actual conversation.  Yeah, diplomats will just love him.   Can you see this guy talking to the Middle East? That would be reality TV not to miss.  Holocaust Huckabee possesses all the wisdom of a gnat on a sugar rush.

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham - Besides the worst whiner accent ever, his claim to fame is that he is "a friend to Israel."  Read that as Israel sends him kickbacks from the U. S. foreign aid they get and kickbacks and bribe money from U. S. defense contractors that are bosom pals with Bibi.  It's so lovely to know that U. S. money comes full circle back home.

This guy will literally say anything the defense contractors and Bibi's Israeli conservatives want him to say.  Trump wants Graham as Ambassador to Iran since he has said such "nice" things about Iran lately.  Graham sells himself as terribly knowledgeable of the Middle East "in his own mind."  Let's not forget his great technology and communication skills as an advocate of the fliptop phone.

Pennsylvania former Senator Rick Santorum - This guy is quite the sweetheart deal for women's rights.  He believes he is the reigning authority on women's health, women's bodies, women's birth control and how women are expected to be subject to their superior husbands in all things. What century does this guy live in?  Perhaps he would live happier in Iran?  Well, Trump wants this odd duck to head up Planned Parenthood and start a White House Women's Outreach Center.  We all know Santorum is so popular with America's women - not.

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal - My own Louisiana governor is quite a piece of artwork.  Like so many who were in the House he built his wealth on insider trading which was totally illegal at the time.  He also built his wealth on placating the health and insurance industry by privatizing Louisiana hospitals.  Read that as he closed functioning hospitals, not yet reopening them in the areas of need.  In other words, if you have a heart attack in south Louisiana, you will need to see if you can survive the four hour ambulance ride to Houston, Texas for proper treatment.  Is it any wonder businesses don't want to locate here?

Gov. Jindal is that same idiot that refused President Obama's health insurance supplement money to get thousands health insurance they normally could not afford.  Of course, if any of these greedy politicians ever figured it out they would realize that a healthy populace means more economic productivity, and, therefore, lots more profits.  But then critical thinking is way off their Republican radar.

So, what does Jindal do?  Like a lot of these Republican governors he decides he is going to expense his way to a profit by keeping wages low.  A woman earns all of 67 cents to a man's $1.00 in Louisiana.  Yeah, Jindal really cares about Louisiana families and women's issues.

But wait, there's more.  This guy decides to end Louisiana state taxes.  Was it any wonder that Jindal turned up with a $1.6 billion budget shortfall deficit?  Oh, yeah, and he "forgot" to tell the Louisiana State Legislature, claiming all the while that the state was over a billion dollars in the black. Never mind that the state constitution demands the state budget is balanced. Obviously, Jindal was gambling that he could tout his lies during the 2016 election cycle before the truth caught up with him.  So, why isn't the FBI investigating this guy anyway?

So, since Jindal believes himself to be ever so clever at lying Trump wants Jindal as his new CIA Director.  Jindal will fit right in with all the other pathological liars and government clock watchers.

Former HP Compaq CEO Carly "Cut 30,000 Jobs In One Day" Fiorina - This girl has sticky fingers for stealing money from businesses so adeptly that she is still out of jail.  Just ask the Hewlett Packard board how fast they fired her for fleecing them.  Trump finds her so fascinating that she will be installed as Secretary of the Office of Comptroller & Currency.

From Wikipedia:  "The Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC) is an independent bureau within the United States Department of the Treasury that was established by the National Currency Act of 1863 and serves to charterregulate, and supervise all national banks and thrift institutions and the federal branches and agencies of foreign banks in the United States."

Former House Rep. Michelle Bachman - Now this is the lovely person who is quoted for saying that "Hunger is good.  Hunger is a great motivator for children in poverty."  Bachman is known for her sensitivity and empathy towards children in poverty.  Trump is delighted to place her as Secretary of Health & Human Services.

From HHS - "It is the mission of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (HHS) to enhance and protect the health and well-being of all Americans. We fulfill that mission by providing for effective health and human services and fostering advances in medicine, public health, and social services."

Blowhard Radio Host Rush Limbaugh - This guy specializes in Blowhard PR for his Republican candidates even though most of them plead, "Please stop talking! You are ruining the Republican brand!"  It doesn't matter if any of his diatribe is remotely true.  But hey! it's sure entertaining!  Trump thinks Limbaugh would make an interesting White House Communications Director.  Oh, how I can hear the entire White House press corps groaning in disgust and rolling their eyes to say, "Deliver me!"

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney - This two timer failed Republican candidate is quietly "waiting in the wings" and "waiting in line" for "his turn" at the White House.  At the moment he keeps attempting to be the senior leader of the Republican Party.  How's that working out for you, Mitt?  Romney is under the impression that the Republican Clown Car will implode and he can swoop in at the last minute and run as the eventual nominee.  That strategy might have been a good one until Trump stomped into the room, larger than life, confident in his brand and willing to chat up the press so much he makes us all laugh.  What a charmer.

Corporate raiding is Romney's style, and, given the chance he would sell off  U. S. assets like old growth forests on public lands and selling off our ports to the Saudis like President Bush did and Obama let stand.  Of course, Romney might decide to be more creative and sell off U. S. ports to China like the EU is demanding Greece do.

Since it's only appropriate for Romney to finish off America by selling out the last of our best assets, Trump wants to make him Secretary of the Treasury.  Failing that he could head up the Federal Reserve Bank and then all bets are off, bringing about an economic tailspin with such strong headwinds none of us could survive.

Well, folks, was that not an exhaustive Republican list?  Yeah, I've sobered up about voting for Trump if he employs his fellow presidential candidates.  Of course, there are other fun scenarios that will keep this 2016 election electrifying and intriguing.  The Republican establishment will get so frustrated they kick out Trump, forcing him to run as an Independent.  Bernie Sanders also gets kicked out by the Democrats and also ends up running as an Independent.

Knowing Trump, he would "make the deal" with Bernie:  "Hey, how about we team up?  We can flip a coin for who is at the top of the ticket or who has the highest polls numbers.  What do ya say?"  And then the whole country would shift, voting for this wild ride ticket.  Bernie can iron out Stupid in Congress and Trump can get the country working again for wages at a level to sustain a real life.  Works for me.  How about you?

Recent Articles:

Russia: What Is Putin REALLY Doing in Syria?

Hey, DNI Clapper: Demand Agency Heads Change Profile of IC Hiring To Get Real Productivity

Funny Late Nite Jokes: About Putin and Russia Attacking Ukraine

2016: Funny Jokes About Hypocrite Ted Cruz Running for President

NSA Spyware Sold Here Stein

NSA Spyware Sold Here mocks the latest intrusion into the private lives of the world's 7 billion people.
Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @  -  see what's new!  

* * *  Please support Warriors Pearl Foundation - contributing to fund efforts to help homeless female military veterans come home.  Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @  -  see what's new!  

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my 26 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. * 

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!