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| English: Vladimir Putin with his mother, Maria Ivanovna Putina, in July 1958. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
From Denny: Darling Vlad, you have so placed yourself and your entire Russian people and Russian military in to the international hurt locker. My Russian Yard Cats are seriously screwing up this time, a royal screw up.
While I appreciate the raw courage of Russians, this is one of those times where undisciplined courage has not served them well. This is exactly the area in which I've tried to counsel Russia to choose a wiser course against being too easy to provoke...
Not ready for the world before your cup of joe? Quit hissing, COFFEE's brewing!
Yes, I understand that Russia is strongly tied to Crimea and has been for generations. Crimea is part of the national psyche and tradition. I also understand that bullying weaker countries is just plain stupid (See: Presidents Bush 43 and Obama who also made this same mistake). It's not the issue of Crimea that has the world furious with Russia; it's the bullying of Ukraine.
While I was hoping against hope that President Putin would not join The Presidential Stupid Club it appears he got weak and allowed the Dumb and Dumber Crowd to goad him into a show of massive strength that has now backfired on him, expanding out exponentially to international proportions. Looks like I'm going to have to open up my can of Louisiana Cajun Whoop A$$ because, Russia and Putin, you give me no choice.
Boy, I bet Obama and the NSA are totally thrilled to get bumped off the news radar for the moment and watch Putin get yelled at instead. Don't worry, boys, I've not forgotten the NSA garbage and will circle back in due time. I'm not stopping until you are boxed into where you belong. This lioness is tenacious.
Back to Darling Vlad. Quit acting like such a troll. I expect better out of you. You have an excellent diplomatic corps to which you should have first turned for both advice and action. Which military or Big Business idiot pushed you into this mess anyway? Name him so I can take my baseball bat to him, promising him a very long stay in hospital.
OK, so, my Darling Troll, is it too late to walk back this idiot aggression in Ukraine? It won't be if you act quickly because the clock is ticking on Russia's economy and the international community's patience. I'm going to give you the diplomatic blueprint for an easy strategy out of this international mess. After all, you broke Crimea so the world expects you to pay for it, you crashing bull in a china closet.
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Design available on many products and t-shirts; come see!The times are changing. People don't need to fight back with bullets and military. The hacker community is already gearing up and getting busy to hack your military, your banks, your businesses. Today's technology enables a mere teenager in some tiny bedroom to make your life miserable to do business on the world stage.
First of all, the Ukrainian people are already playing better chess than you. Quit hissing, Putin; you know it's true. Quit calling me names; I'm trying to stop Russia from getting bombed. That's right; there are elements in the United States and around the world that want to nuke you right now. And when any of your soldiers either intentionally or unintentionally fire even one shot the whole world just might go nuclear on Russia. You think you are unpopular now in Russia, watch your people turn on you for some very ugly consequences where you will end up a dead man walking.
Right now, the smart chess move is that the Ukrainian military has laid down its arms inside their bases. Present on those bases are visiting wives and many children now held hostage by Russia. Therefore, if the Russian military attempts to breach the Ukrainian bases and harms or kills even one unarmed soldier, or worse - a child - then it is Vladimir Putin who will be wanted for international war crimes. So, you think the Russian Army can protect you against the entire world? Think again.
Consider this scenario: The West AND The Middle East AND China could decide to arm your local Islamic terrorists to destroy your army. Is that a palatable situation? It could easily happen that way if you keep resisting good sense. You are wasting precious time hissing and cursing against those in the West who are trying to get you to see reason. This is NOT the time to play the role of strong man. After almost 15 years in office it's high time you grow up and learn how to employ real finesse. The Thug Act is losing it's afterglow for everyone.
Your original practical strategy was for the Russian military to throw out the Ukrainian military from their bases in Crimea so the Russian military would have a place to camp out and hold. Well, how's that working out for you, Darling Vlad? Your men are outside, with no proper housing, freezing in the cold. Obviously, your military generals did not anticipate or plan well for this attack. Fire their sorry asses immediately. Those idiots are causing severe international tensions as badly as our own idiot Pentagon.
The smart move right now is to move all your Russian military out and away from encircling all of the Ukrainian military bases. Find open fields to erect camps to house your troops for the time being while diplomatic solutions are worked out to end this mess. You can use the excuse of keeping an eye on providing security for Russians in Crimea. But for the moment the Ukrainian held military bases are off limits.
The next smart move would be to call in the EU, the UN, Obama and the head of NATO for a meeting with your diplomats to discuss terms for either purchasing Crimea from Ukraine, purchasing a military base lease or complete military withdrawal. You can offer financial compensation for the two airports and several military bases in Crimea. The Ukraine government will just have to let go of Crimea at some point either in complete actuality or in purchased leases for Russia's use. Make up your minds how you want to proceed.
Gone are the days when any country could just arbitrarily march against any country to take what they wanted, how they wanted and when they wanted. Darling Vlad, you should have learned a brain full from the stupid mistakes the United States has made in that area for well over a decade now. A show of military force is never wise unless it is backed up with diplomacy and financial remuneration to ease the bruised feelings.
Another smart move for Russia? STFU, Darling Vlad. Going around hissing and spitting venom at everyone is getting Russia nowhere good. Threatening the Ukrainian military bases if they don't surrender and they should expect a storm to come against them is no way to win friends anywhere. Again, I expect better out of you and so does God. It's time you reconcile your faith with your actions. You can't be believable as respectful to God and then do such excessive aggression. Trust me; God is not happy with you right now.
Dial back your military to quit encircling these Ukraine military bases and move them out into the open fields where they will not be perceived by the world as so threatening. Tell them to quit issuing threats and STFU.
Next? Pull out your obvious pro-Russian intelligence operatives trying to stir up the public into protests in your favor. Everyone sees through that stupid move. These tactics are unacceptable to the world and to God. And, yes, I yell at the CIA for the same nasty tactics they do to other countries so you are getting equal opportunity for spending time in the wood shed.
Quit acting like a petulant troll, especially in public. You look ridiculous. Now get on the phone, contact all the various agencies and Presidents and make a deal immediately.
The financial wars are beginning and are all against Russia. Eventually, even those greedy trolls in London's financial markets will wake up and penalize Russia because they are losing the British people.
Wall Street has already overreacted, pulling investments. How long before world banks call Russian loans, demanding immediate payment because they think Russia is falling?
The world now thinks that Russia is destabilizing both politically and financially. The freezing of Russian assets all over the world is already beginning.
How long before Russian oil tankers are turned away at every port throughout the world, refusing delivery or payment? Countries like Saudi Arabia are doing a Happy Dance, hoping the world turns away from Russian oil and get back to their previous market share. More money for the Middle East and they are wishing for a bankrupt Russia.
The Russian ruble is tumbling and will soon be kissing concrete it will get so low. Russian companies lost over $60 billion just in one day. That's when inflation starts, prices for everything start rising in Russia and then the people turn against you. Then the name of Vladimir Putin will become a footnote in history.
Think long term. Is all this really necessary? Time for a major course correction, Darling Vlad. It's either that or face my wrath yet again. I'm not leaving it alone until you do the right thing if I have to haunt you in your dreams. God ain't happy with you, then I'm not happy with you.
No one said guardian angels were sweetness and light. Sometimes, we ride your sorry asses when you are seriously off track. This is one of those times. Get your butt in gear and right the Russian ship. The Russian people are depending upon you to not drag them down into disaster but to get it right. Make a deal with NATO and Ukraine and end this mess peacefully.
Whether it's cooling off from the sweltering summer heat or a heated situation it's definitely time to "Just Chill!" Available for men, women, kids in a variety of t-shirt styles and on other products; come see!
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