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Showing posts with label funny-quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny-quotes. Show all posts

Monday, January 16, 2012

Funny 2012 Election Late Nite Jokes and Videos

Look away! Look away!
Look away! Look away! (Photo credit: Norm Walsh)

From Denny:  With the holiday season yesterday's news, it's time to catch up on the hilarious jokes from the late night comics about the GOP candidates and their utterly lame "debates."  These are all the jokes from December 2011 and half of January 2012.

As the political season wears on - and wears out the goodwill of the public - the jokes will only get sharper as the political attacks get nastier.  Put on your hockey face mask as the Zingers are about to get hurled at you from every angle during the next 11 months.

All the major news networks are now calling for some serious fact-checking on those GOP claims pooped out onto the airwaves.

You know it's really bad when the mainstream news starts complaining about the very guys who buy the ads on their networks that they encouraged to behave so badly in the first place.  Do you think it might have something to do with the fact the majority of the public is not paying attention to those silly debates?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Fathers Day Posts: Quotes, Photos, Humor, Music. Poetry

happy fathers day

Happy Father's Day! photo by jwlphotography @ flickr, All Rights Reserved with embed code available

From Denny:  Enjoy some funny quotes from fathers about being a father. Get inspired from some inspirational quotes about fathers and from fathers.

Enjoy two musicians - Keith Urban and Abel Ullon - and what they have to say about what it is like being a father and observing their own fathers as parents.

Most of all, enjoy some wonderful photography from a variety of amateurs and professionals, revealing fathers in their most intimate moments with their children. Taking a snooze, playing sand castle on the beach, riding on daddy's shoulder, hanging out with pregnant mom, daddy gazing into the eyes of  his newborn, daddy cookies baked just for him, playing "kids in the bucket," learning to play music, and getting kisses from his little girls on his special day to be honored - at least once a year! :)


Funny Fathers Day: Cheeky Quote Day

Fathers Day Quotes: Funny and Inspirational

Fathers Day Music: Keith Urban Sings Song For Dad

Christian Music: Fathers Day Song - My Dad by Abel Ullon

Dennys Photo Gallery: Fathers Day

Angel Diaries: Samuel story poem - How do you recognize when an angel has truly come into your life? Do you remember your angel sightings or did the moment pass you by?

3 Kinds of Men to Honor - Today is Father’s Day on the calendar and I will be thinking of them throughout this week, we choose this day to honor the good examples of quality men who have influenced our lives beneficially. Most people reflect upon a father, a brother, an uncle, a grandfather, a husband, a good and trusted friend, even a mentor.

Video: Making A Difference - Father's Heart Ranch - This is a wonderful story full of love to heal abused and abandoned boys in California. A retired professional baseball player turned non-denominational minister took his life savings to begin this endeavor.



* * *  Please support Warriors Pearl Foundation - helping homeless female military veterans come home.  Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @ CafePress.com  -  see what's new!  And a special thanks to those of you supporting this effort!  You rock!



 Subscribe in a reader to A Truth Journal

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my other 20 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. * 

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!




Friday, January 14, 2011

Popular Posts 2010 at Dennys Funny Quotes


The Most Outrageous take home all the toys:  Congrats to Lady Gaga

From Denny: Thanks for all your support this year; your response has been awesome! Total fun ever since I began this crazy blog back in the summer last year. Glad to know there are so many funny peeps out there in virtual land who enjoy a good grin...






Most Popular Posts Ever:

Popular Posts 2009 of Dennys Funny Quotes and Thank YOU!

Popular Posts 2010 at Dennys Funny Quotes and Thank You!

42 Monday Morning Funny Coffee Quotes, Coffee Cartoon

10 Funny Cute Cat Quotes and Cat Cartoon

Funny Crazy Cat Quotes

25 Funny Quotes about Jokes and Politics

Funny Political Cartoons Sampler 12 Dec 2009

The Great American Immigration Debate: Political Cartoons - 8 May 2010

Funny Friendship Quotes

Funny Halloween Quotes, Halloween Cartoon






December

Funny Video: WikiLeaks Reveals Santa Naughty List

Funny Christmas Cartoons - Check out the irreverent cartoonist offerings for the holiday season.

Original Christmas Poem Story: The Night Before Christmas - the original and, of course since I'm from Louisiana, the funny Cajun version - and funny Santa cartoons.

Shoveling snow? Protect your back and your heart

72 Posts Roundup at Dennys Blogs - 20 Dec 2010

42 Monday Morning Funny Coffee Quotes, Coffee Cartoon 

26 Funny Political Cartoons - 6 Feb 2010







I'm too ugly for your dinner table by David Reece at flickr




November

Funny Video: Potty Training Your Sloth - Check out real life humor of how to potty train a very slow sloth

Funny Crazy Cat Quotes

10 Funny Work Quotes for Monday Morning 

Funny Quotes About Coffee

5 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes, Photos





Our favorite campy Mistress Of The Dark: Elvira

October


Funny God Versus Satan Joke: Its All In The Creation - Come get a grin as God and Satan duke it out over who helps or hurts humanity.

Funny Work Cartoons - 25 Oct 2010

Funny Video: Scientists Study Drugged Spiders - Check out the crazy antics of these drugged spiders.

Funny Situational Hunh?! Are You Kidding?! Cartoons - 16 Oct 2010

Funny Video: Stewart RIPS Karl Rove, Fox News 4 Selective Foreign Donor Outrage - Check out Jon Stewart as he nails Karl Rove and the Republicans to the wall for their usual hypocrisy and phony outrage - all with news clips.

Funny Photos: Voraciously Hungry Birds - Check out some startling photos of birds as they catch some unusual finds for their dinner tables - complete with irreverent commentary.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Scorches Big Banks 4 Accidental Foreclosures - Check out the scathing remarks Jon Stewart dishes out to the Bozo mindset of the Big Banks and how illegally they bungle the home foreclosure process.

Funny Video: Colbert Fuses Halloween Holiday With March To Keep Fear Alive - Check out outrageous Colbert as he gives tips for your Halloween costume while he encourages you to attend his March to Keep Fear Alive.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Reveals Rally to Restore Sanity Location - Stewart gives careful directions on how funny it can be to find the rally in downtown Washington, D.C.

Funny Situational Hunh?! Cartoons - 9 Oct 2010 - Check out some hilarious thoughts about how to approach life from this week of cartoonists.

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Reveals Rednecks Living in Delaware - Talk about crazy politics. All politics really are local.

Funny Video: Colbert Looks At Tea Party Coloring Books For Kids - More irreverent senseless commentary from the infamous Colbert, commenting on the random senseless acts from the Tea Party.

Funny Tech and Situational Hunh?! Cartoons - 2 Oct 2010

AWwwww For Cat Lovers: Animated Cartoon, Simons Cat in the Box - Get a grin while you watch this silly cat discover a box left by the owner as he was packing up books. Of course, the cat had other ideas of what to do with that empty box.

25 Funny Quotes about Jokes and Politics






September

10 Funny Cute Cat Quotes and Cat Cartoon 

Funny Video: Priest on a Skateboard - Check out the newest ploy to get kids to go to church - now this is novel! Who says the church types are not willing to modernize their message? :)

Funny Hunh?! Cartoons - 25 Sept 2010 - Check out this week's amusing observations about Life: relationships, pets and the tech world cartoons.

Republican Tea Party of the Devil: Meet Satanist Christine ODonnell

22 Funny Situational Hunh?! Cartoons - 18 Sept 2010 - Check out the funny twisted minds of cartoonists as they envision various life situations.

Prez Obama, Democrats, Trouble With Political Message Cartoons - 11 Sept 2010

Funny Hunh?! Cartoons - 8 Sept 2010






August


Murphys 15 Laws About Sex

Funny News: 100 Year Old Scotch Whiskey Thaws Out to Drink - Strange but true: check out this funny news of the day.

Funny Video: BP Creates Rich Fish in Gulf Oil Spill - Mocking BP: An idiot public relations BP talking head points out the up side to the oil leak: the fish are rich!

Funny Video: Bounty Mocks High School With Rap - Bounty Brings It. Paper Towel Gang Keeps it Clean - great rap music video production for an ad.

Funny Work Cartoons - 23 Aug 2010 - Three cartoonists will get you laughing so much you won't notice how fast the work day disappears. - featuring Dilbert, Working Daze and Working It Out.

Funny Odd Hunh?! Cartoons - 21 Aug 2010 - Check out this week's grinners to soothe your work week stress.

25 Ridiculously Funny Celebrity Duck Face Photos

Hunh?! Cartoons - 14 Aug 2010 - Check out this week's great cartoonists and how funny everyday life can be.

Funny Video: Colberts Sound Advice on How to Get a Job - Bad economy? No problem. Comic Stephen Colbert to the employment rescue to help you land that all important life-changing job.

Funny Legal News Story: The Case of a Contraceptives Miss-taken Use - Laugh at this funny use for a contraceptive that exemplifies the kind of humorous cases found in our court systems every day sure to amuse us!

Funny Video: Surfing Group Known as The Radical Rodents - Laugh at these funny talented rodents surfing the waves in Australia.

Hunh?! Just Plain Bizarre Funny Cartoons - 7 Aug 2010 - Check out this week's cartoon ramblings. Reach out and touch someone. Have a good laugh today!





July


Funny Video: Colbert On The Environment - Wimpy Treehuggers, Dirty Hippies - Check out the whacky humor of Stephan Colbert and get a laugh - especially if you are an environmentalist!

Funny Video: Kimmel Says Palin Is Like The Eskimo Don King - Check out comic Jimmy Kimmel ride Sarah Palin about her lack of acquaintance with her own English language dictionary.

Recession Humor: Termination Letter to Employees - More work place humor. Collect this funny for your joke file.

Funny Family Quotes - 21 funny quotes about our family relationships to make you laugh.

Hunh?! Are You Crazy?! Cartoons - 24 July 2010 - Get a grin at some of the craziness cartoons that will make you scratch your head and go, "What the F?"

Funny GOP: From The Bush Years - Homeland Security Self-Exam - Found another funny joke about the Republicans.

Hunh?! Cartoons - 17 July 2010 - There are those life situations that defy definition yet make us laugh...

How You Know You Have Dreaded Teabagger Disease

Funny LOL Work Jokes - Get a laugh when you start your work week with these amusing work jokes and funny photos!

Hunh?! Cartoons - 10 July 2010 - Check out some funny cartoons about life on the home front and more puzzling facts of today's culture.

Funny GOP: Limbaughs 18 Rules of Right Wing Talk Show Bombast - Check out the oh, so truthful factoids about Rush Limbaugh and his crazed groupies.

Dark Humor: BP Oil Spill Cartoons - 3 July 2010

Funny Video: Economic Fun Fair by Mark Fiore - Check out famous animated cartoonist, Mark Fiore, and what he thinks, OK, mocks, about the American economy and hunting for a job.

Funny GOP: Conservatives Prayer to Capitalism God - Get a grin from a little parody prayer directed at the political hypocrites.






June


5 Funny Shorts: What Kids Think About Love and Life

Funny Family Quotes

Joke: When A Bunch of Nationalities Are Stranded on an Island

Funny Video: Upright Citizens Brigade Mocks BP Execs

Funny Video: Colbert Mocks Birthers Using Obama Rap Video Sighting

Cartoons: Staycation, New Summer Trend 4 Middle Class - 5 June 2010

Help Create Funny Caption 4 Michelle Obama Photo at Comedy Central

Funny Video: Science-Gate by Cartoonist Mark Fiore

Funny Video: Colbert Instructs How to Ace Your ACTs







May


Funny Video: Cartoonist Mocks Tea Party Hypocrisy

Funny Video: Betty White On SNL Monologue

Funny Video: Health Care Rage-Ex by Cartoonist Mark Fiore

The Great American Immigration Debate: Political Cartoons - 8 May 2010 

Crazy Arizona Style Immigration: Political Cartoons - 1 May 2010





April Fools Day is for burning the candle at both our, ah-hem, "ends"


April


Cartoonists Latest Funnies 4 Mothers Day

Hilarious Egg Pelting Politics Ukrainian Style

Take the Test: Whats Your Sex IQ?

Posts Roundup This Week at Dennys Blogs - 18 Apr 2010

Crazy Limbaugh Blames Iceland Volcano on Obama

Those Funny Racy RNC Republicans

More Funny Tax Cartoons to Keep You Laughing

How to Survive Allergy and Pollen Season

This Weeks Funny Late Night Show Quips - 5 Apr 2010

Religious Sex Scandal Cartoons






March

Health Care Reform Resistance, Funny Political Cartoons - 20 Mar 2010

Friday Trivia: 14 Useless Random Facts

Funny Sarcastic Sayings 4 Any Day

Funny News: Italys World Slow Day

Weird News: Watching Porn in Church

Comics Point of View: Our Weird Politicians

29 Post Roundup at Dennys Blogs 14 Mar 2010

Cartoonists Cajun Whoop A$$ on Everyone - 40 Funny Political Cartoons - 13 Mar 2010

8 Funny Quips

Saint Patricks Day Funnies Sampler

Funny Music Video: Hilarious Organized Mayhem

Unusual Outrageous New Food: Breast Milk Cheese

48 Post Roundup: Dennys Blogs 7 Mar 2010

Funny Tutorial Video: The Busy Desk of the Animator

44 Funny Political Cartoon Strike Outs: Bunning, Health Care, Chile, Toyota

The Best Time Waster Funny Video: Procrastination

Chef Jamie Oliver Discovers American Kids Dont Know Veggies

Funny Groundhog Phils Says 2 More Weeks of Winter

30 Funny Creative Animal Ads




Mardi Gras shoes any French Quarter reveler would desire from Lino Villaventur shoe collection 2010

February

16 Funny Blissful Sleepers Photos

23 Funny Total Debauchery Mardi Gras Photos

42 Funny Political Cartoons 13 Feb 2010

Funny Video: Look, Ma! Eating with No Paws But Real Hands!

Super Bowl Ads: Thrilling Best to Doggy Worst

Funny Friendship Quotes - popular for months!

10 Funny Cute Cat Quotes and Cat Cartoon - popular for months!

18 Funny Lampooning Tiger Woods Cartoons - popular for months!

Funny Ironic Humor Quotes - get a look at the great photos with this post and see why it's still popular for months!

3 Comic Strips: Ancient Egypt to Todays Politics Still Crazy
- popular for months!

Funny Marriage Quotes - popular for months!

Funny Housework Quotes - with irreverent comment poster of women's libber, popular for months!

Cute Monday Morning Job Quotes, Cartoon too - popular for months!

Funny Cooking Quotes - popular for months!

5 Funny Cooking Quotes to Give You a Grin! Funny Einstein Photo - popular!

13 Funny Twisted Thinking Quotes for Halloween - hugely popular at Halloween and great Hitchcock photos!

25 Funny Quotes about Jokes and Politics - popular all year, politicians come in all stripes!

3 Paradoxically Funny Head Scratching Quotes - funny Dick Cheney photo!

41 Funny Conan OBrien Quotes - always popular!

5 Monday Morning Posts to Get You Laughing! - always popular!

42 Monday Morning Funny Coffee Quotes, Coffee Cartoon - every week every Monday this post is a big hit!

10 Funny Work Quotes for Monday Morning - every week every Monday this post is a big hit!

Popular Posts 2009 of Dennys Funny Quotes and Thank YOU!



Get the New Year started off right!

January

Funny Friendship Quotes - popular for months!

10 Funny Cute Cat Quotes and Cat Cartoon - popular for months!

18 Funny Lampooning Tiger Woods Cartoons - popular for months!

Funny Ironic Humor Quotes - get a look at the great photos with this post and see why it's still popular for months!

3 Comic Strips: Ancient Egypt to Todays Politics Still Crazy
- popular for months!

Funny Marriage Quotes - popular for months!

Funny Housework Quotes - with irreverent comment poster of women's libber, popular for months!

Cute Monday Morning Job Quotes, Cartoon too - popular for months!

Funny Cooking Quotes - popular for months!

5 Funny Cooking Quotes to Give You a Grin! Funny Einstein Photo - popular!

13 Funny Twisted Thinking Quotes for Halloween - hugely popular at Halloween and great Hitchcock photos!

25 Funny Quotes about Jokes and Politics - popular all year, politicians come in all stripes!

3 Paradoxically Funny Head Scratching Quotes - funny Dick Cheney photo!

41 Funny Conan OBrien Quotes - always popular!

5 Monday Morning Posts to Get You Laughing! - always popular!

Fun Cartoon Review: Happy New Year!

10 Funny Work Quotes for Monday Morning - every week every Monday this post is a big hit!

Popular Posts 2009 of Dennys Funny Quotes and Thank YOU!

Funny Quotes From Curmudgeons: These Guys Need to Lighten Up!

Funny Editorial Cartoons This Week 30 Jan 2010

15 Wild Cartoons on Prez Obamas 1st Year in Office

Political Cartoons: Obamas State of the Union

Its Official: Folks Bring Back Thiefing Republicans, Hand Senate Seat to Them

5 Funny Quotes About Time

Funny Music Video of How Americans Sound to Foreigners

Funny New Years Resolutions Cartoons

Funny Quotes About Coffee

Funny Quotes About Jobs and Work

Popular Posts 2009 of Dennys Funny Quotes and Thank YOU!

How Funny! 10 Banned Overused Buzzwords of 2009

Funny Quotes: Hollywood Actress Mae West - one irreverent actress from the early Hollywood days, always getting in trouble with the morality police across America.

Editorial Cartoons 2 Jan 2010

Funny New Years Quotes

Jimmy Kimmels Dumbest 911 Calls of the Decade




*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor



* * *  Please support Warriors Pearl Foundation - helping homeless female military veterans come home.  Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @ CafePress.com  -   - see what's new!  (yes, my new charity - why stand on the sidelines when you can actively do something about a problem?)



 Subscribe in a reader to A Truth Journal

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my other 20 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. * 

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!


Monday, October 26, 2009

Jokes Roundup 26 Oct 2009 - Balloon Troubles, Obama Takes on Fox, Why Fox News Isnt Really News



From Denny: The latest from the late night comedy show guys...

The Jay Leno Show

Jay Leno:
President Obama today agreed to commit an additional 40,000 troops to help fight Fox News.

From Denny: This gives new meaning to the phrase "civil war." This video is really good as Maddow gives a clear cut definition of real news, even with personal comment, and what is political propaganda. Amazing how many people in America really do not understand the difference or are aware of just how much they are being manipulated into weak mind mush through the triggering of emotions to the level of jacked up, hiked up outrageous levels.


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Cheeky Quote Day! 30 September 2009



From Denny: Chefs around the globe have done a lot to educate the palates of the public these past twenty years or so. Haute cuisine caught on like wildfire for a tasty trend since the go-go 1980's in America. This year a movie was released (which I have yet to see) about America's first person to humanize upscale cuisine, Julia Child. She didn't believe in the cultural snobbery surrounding the subject of food. Nor did Julia care for the attitude of intimidating people to cook it for themselves.

Julia Child was no kitchen terrorist. One of those few decent personalities to come out of the old WW II era CIA, she promoted good food for decades. CIA personnel are known for adopting the food culture of their overseas assignments, often quite the culinary adventurers.

When you have the stress of getting shot at everyday out in the world without the benefit of any security detail - even on the job as a secretary or IT support as most are just analysts not full-fledged James Bond type spies/assassins, a person and their soft target families have to take their mind off it - cooking well is one convenient stress reliever. It often can help build good relationships with the locals which in turn eases the tensions of having an American in their community.

Julia taught us about food with grace, humor and educated herself as she educated us on television. Standing at 6' 3" she could have easily been intimidating yet chose to be jovial, ever the patient teacher well into her 90's.

Quotes

* In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

* The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

* Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all. - Harriet Van Horne

* The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

* When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

* I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

* There is such a buildup of crud in my oven there is only room to bake a single cupcake. - Phyllis Diller

* The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it. - Andy Rooney

* It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it. - Julia Child on nouvelle cuisine

* When compelled to cook, I produce a meal that would make a sword swallower gag. - Russell Baker

* Life is too short to stuff a mushroom. - Storm Jameson



*** Whoo Hoo! Kitchen fire on purpose so it tastes good! ***


* I prefer my oysters fried; That way I know my oysters died. - Roy G. Blount, Jr.

* God sends meat and the devil sends cooks. - Thomas Deloney (1543-1600)

* There is no sincerer love than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

* The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American proverb

* Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. - G. K. Chesterson (1874-1936)

* Recipe For Chili: Put a pot of chili on the stove to simmer. Let it simmer. Meanwhile, broil a good steak. Eat the steak. Let the chili simmer. Ignore it. - Allan Shivers, former governor of Texas

* I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

* Blow in its ear. - Johnny Carson on the best way to thaw out a frozen turkey

* Eating an artichoke is like getting to know someone really well. - Willi Hastings

* Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

* In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait. - Jose Simon

* Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)



*** Cooking in Stockholm ***

* The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again. -George Miller

* My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with. - Oprah Winfrey

* Where there's smoke, there's toast. - Anonymous

* My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked. - Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

* Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. -W. C. Fields (1880-1946)

* The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

* I don't eat snails. I prefer fast food. - Strange de Jim

* Hunger is the best sauce in the world. - Cervantes

* Strange to see how a good dinner and feasting reconciles everybody. - Samuel Pepys



*** ... and then I decided to cook... ***

* Kissing don't last: cookery do. - George Meredith

* Fish, to taste right, must swim three times -- in water, in butter and in wine. - Polish Proverb

* Hunger finds no fault with the cooking. - Proverb

* A good meal makes a man feel more charitable toward the world than any sermon. - Arthur Pendenys

* Fervet olla, vivit amicitia: While the pot boils, friendship endures. (Meaning the man who gives good dinners has plenty of friends). - Latin Proverb

* The discovery of a new dish does more for the happiness of mankind than the discovery of a star. - Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

* A hungry stomach seldoms scorns plain food. - Horace

* Even were a cook to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Polish Proverb

* What is food to one man may be fierce poison to others. - Lucretius

* He was a bold man who first swallowed an oyster. - James I
Cheese--milk's leap towards immortality. - Clifton Fadiman



*** Chewy Korean noodles, wish they gave us the recipe... ***

* All you see, I owe to spaghetti. - Sophia Loren, actress

* Give me books, French wine, fruit, fine weather and a little music played out of doors by somebody I do not know. - John Keats

* There is no such thing as a little garlic. - Anonymous

* There is no such thing as a pretty good omelette. - French Proverb

* A smiling face is half the meal. - Latvian Proverb

* Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all. - Harriet Van Horne

* When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat. - Mark Twain

* Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving. - Rosalind Russell

* Cooking Rule... If at first you don't succeed, order pizza. - Anonymous

* Dessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be the last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table. - The Anarchist Cookbook

* Hungry men think the cook lazy. - Anonymous

* Without rice, even the cleverest housewife cannot cook. - Chinese Proverb

* You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat with knitting needles. - Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food

* No man is lonely while eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention. – Robert Morley

* Mothers, food, love, and career: the four major guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

* The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain

* Vanity is the food of fools. - Anonymous

* Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him of the entire weekend. - Zenna Schaffer



*** Deep concentration in Stockholm ***

* I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick--not wounded--dead. - Woody Allen

* My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. - Henry Youngman

* What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. - Cindy Garner

* There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted. - Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly

* When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Man invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking. - Elayne Boolser

* Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Anonymous

* What garlic is to food, insanity is to art. - Anonymous

* A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it. - Katharine Whitehorn

* Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal. - Anonymous

* I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, “What for?” I said, “I'm going to buy some sugar.” - Steven Wright

* Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. - Samuel Butler

* Never eat more than you can lift. - Miss Piggy of The Muppets fame

* One cannot refuse to eat just because there is a chance of being choked. - Chinese Proverb

* Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish - too much handling will spoil it. - Lao Tzu



*** Long day at the hotel for this lampshade chef... ***


* If a pot is cooking, the friendship will stay warm. - Arab Proverb

* What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron, screenwriter and director

* I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

* Hey baby, do you like fine cooking? Cause you know what? I got Swanson's Dinner in the freezer with your name on it. - Jimmy Fallon quotes (American Actor, b.1974)

* The average American’s simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak. - Mark Twain

* Noncooks think it's silly to invest two hours' work in two minutes' enjoyment; but if cooking is evanescent, so is the ballet. - Julia Child

* My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller (American comedienne and actress, born 1917)

* Only a fool argues with a skunk, a mule or a cook. – American cowboy saying

* He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food. - Raymond Chandler


Have a great work week and keep grinning!


***

Photo Credits

Long day at the hotel for this chef…
Lampshade chef photo by Tracy Hunter @ flickr

Flaming food photo by liber @ flickr

Chicken, mozzarella cheese and balsamic vinegar photo by basykes @ flickr

Korean noodles Photo by avlxyz @ flickr

Intense concentration Photo by K.I.T. @ flickr

Cooking for two Photo by K.I.T. @ flickr

Chef Xinh with Julia Child at book signing photo by kuow949 @ flickr


* * *  Please support Warriors Pearl Foundation - contributing to fund efforts to help homeless female military veterans come home.  Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @ CafePress.com  -  see what's new!  And a special thanks to those of you supporting this effort!  You rock!



 Subscribe in a reader to A Truth Journal

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my 24 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. * 

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Cheeky Quote Day! Jokes and Funny Quotes 8 July 2009





From Denny: I had a good time combing through various databases finding these funny quotes, enjoy! "The things people will say!" :)

"I can see clearly now, the brain has gone." - Anonymous

"What's another word for thesaurus?" - Steven Wright

"Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law." - Hubert Humphrey

"Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand." - Benny Hill

"I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted." - George Best


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Cheeky Quote Day! Women, Cockroaches and Journalism 1 July 2009



Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

From Denny: Summer heat has set in and July has arrived!

Thinking of the bizarre turn of events lately: Obama disinvited the Iranians from our Independence Day festivities on the Fourth. The Canadians followed suit. The Iranian regime has been exhibiting "bad form" lately with promoting a dictatorship, imprisoning and torturing their election protesters. Hmmm... I doubt they wanted to come anyway as they don't believe in independence, democracy or free speech. Guess we will have to catch them next year for the invite. Can the news get any stranger?

Well, while we agonize over the serious problems of the Iranian people we still need to laugh to keep our sanity and balance, so the Cheeky Quote Day goes on. These folks do have a way with words!


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Funny Oscar Wilde: Cheeky Quote Day! 27 May 2009



Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

From Denny: OK, I admit it, I’ve dyed my hair so many colors over the years that I actually like these dumb blonde jokes now! This one is a grinner.

How is this joke a cheeky quote? I’ll answer that question with yet another question: Do you realize just how many dumb blonde jokes have been floating around out there on the internet? Sooner or later you just knew one would be quoted here! :)

Cheeky Quotes are always welcome too from the famous writer Oscar Wilde, one wild character and totally larger than life! His was a twisted humor, using truth to illustrate paradox and hypocrisy of society - why he has remained one of my favorites.



A Bearded Collie Herding Sheep.Herding Sheep Image via Wikipedia


Counting Sheep

The blonde from Casper had been the brunt of dumb blonde jokes all her life and finally decided to do something about it. Boldly, she entered a beauty salon and had her hair dyed auburn. The change was immediate and drastic.

Suddenly people began to treat her with respect and her self-esteem grew daily. One afternoon she went for a drive in the country-side and happened upon a band of sheep and a herder. Deciding to test her new-found confidence and skill, she stopped and visited with the herder. After charming the herder, she made him a proposition.

She said, "I’d love to have one of those sheep as a pet. Do you suppose if I guessed the exact number you have in your herd you could let me have one to take home?"

The herder, thinking there was no way in the world she could guess the exact number said, "Why sure, little lady, you go ahead and guess."

The auburn/blonde said, "You have exactly 1053 head of sheep.

The herder could not believe it. She had guessed the number right on the button. Chagrined, he told her to go ahead and pick out a sheep to take home. She wandered through the whole herd finally making her selection at the far edge of the flock. Carrying it back to her car, she put it in the back seat. As she was about to drive off, the herder came running towards her car frantically yelling,

"Wait, wait!" She rolled down her window to see what he wanted and he said, "I’ve got a proposition for you. If I can guess the exact color of your hair before you dyed it, can I have my dog back?"




Photo by anaxila @ flickr


From famous humor writer Oscar Wilde:

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."

"Disobedience, in the eyes of any one who has read history, is human's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion."

"Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess."

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."


Enjoy the rest of your work week! If you need some more laughs to get through the week I've collected all kinds of funny things over at my humor blog, Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd, go here.


* * *  Please support Warriors Pearl Foundation - helping homeless female military veterans come home.  Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @ CafePress.com  -   - see what's new!  (yes, my new charity - why stand on the sidelines when you can actively do something about a problem?)



 Subscribe in a reader to A Truth Journal

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my other 20 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. * 

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!


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