A Truth Journal: May 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Funny Oscar Wilde: Cheeky Quote Day! 27 May 2009

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

From Denny: OK, I admit it, I’ve dyed my hair so many colors over the years that I actually like these dumb blonde jokes now! This one is a grinner.

How is this joke a cheeky quote? I’ll answer that question with yet another question: Do you realize just how many dumb blonde jokes have been floating around out there on the internet? Sooner or later you just knew one would be quoted here! :)

Cheeky Quotes are always welcome too from the famous writer Oscar Wilde, one wild character and totally larger than life! His was a twisted humor, using truth to illustrate paradox and hypocrisy of society - why he has remained one of my favorites.

Herding Sheep Image via Wikipedia

Counting Sheep

The blonde from Casper had been the brunt of dumb blonde jokes all her life and finally decided to do something about it. Boldly, she entered a beauty salon and had her hair dyed auburn. The change was immediate and drastic.

Suddenly people began to treat her with respect and her self-esteem grew daily. One afternoon she went for a drive in the country-side and happened upon a band of sheep and a herder. Deciding to test her new-found confidence and skill, she stopped and visited with the herder. After charming the herder, she made him a proposition.

She said, "I’d love to have one of those sheep as a pet. Do you suppose if I guessed the exact number you have in your herd you could let me have one to take home?"

The herder, thinking there was no way in the world she could guess the exact number said, "Why sure, little lady, you go ahead and guess."

The auburn/blonde said, "You have exactly 1053 head of sheep.

The herder could not believe it. She had guessed the number right on the button. Chagrined, he told her to go ahead and pick out a sheep to take home. She wandered through the whole herd finally making her selection at the far edge of the flock. Carrying it back to her car, she put it in the back seat. As she was about to drive off, the herder came running towards her car frantically yelling,

"Wait, wait!" She rolled down her window to see what he wanted and he said, "I’ve got a proposition for you. If I can guess the exact color of your hair before you dyed it, can I have my dog back?"

Photo by anaxila @ flickr

From famous humor writer Oscar Wilde:

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."

"Disobedience, in the eyes of any one who has read history, is human's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion."

"Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess."

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

Enjoy the rest of your work week! If you need some more laughs to get through the week I've collected all kinds of funny things over at my humor blog, Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd, go here.

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Nietzsche As Funny: Cheeky Quote Day! 20 May 2009

Photo of Nietzsche in 1875, probably before he contracted or showed symptoms of syphilis - suffering the fate of insanity at the end of his life in 1900.

From Denny: OK, who among us has ever thought of Nietzsche as, well, funny? Not many I expect. He was a German philosopher who often contradicted himself and got in trouble by critiquing culture. After his zealously religious Lutheran pastor father died insane, Friedrich Nietzsche soared to new heights as a famous rebel against Christianity. That must have been one psychologically confusing atmosphere growing up as a child with a double dose: heavy religion AND insanity.

Nietzsche’s emotional and spiritual flailing is a fine example of the throes of spiritual development. In all that seriousness, most people don’t realize how many frequently incredible and funny life observations occur along the way! And that, dear friends, is why you keep a journal!

Here are a few of Nietzsche’s wry observations about humanity:

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter.

Insanity in individuals is something rare -- but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule.

Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are not.

Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders?

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.

The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy.

In Heaven all the interesting people are missing.

CIA Torture Memos Incorrect

From Denny: Now you know why Pelosi is fighting mad about the latest rotten tomatoes thrown at her by the Republicans. Great explanation to those who are not in the know about the inside workings of the intelligence or political worlds. Good going, Keith!

RNC Chair Steele Whistles Past GOP History

From Denny: You can always count on Keith Olbermann for a funny truthful and downright insightful commentary on the latest bizarre politics! Take a look.

Stupid Senator Says Gitmo Prisoners Have It Good! WTF?!

From Denny: Leave it to Keith Olbermann to divine the intent of the political figures as they say the darnedest things! The latest is from a returning Senator after his visit to Gitmo. Who elects these guys?

Monday, May 18, 2009

Roundup of Sunday Funnies: Fired Astronaut, Poetry Torture

From Denny: Here's the short roundup of the late night show quips for this week!

As toxically expected the Bush League has been in full tilt operation this week trying to bury Nancy Pelosi with the usual idiot nonsense. She's so angry she can't see straight.

It will be interesting to see how long it takes before she does a 180 degree turn and starts prosecuting the Bush crowd for their high crimes and misdemeanors. Maybe this is what it will take to light a fire under her and other Dems to start taking out the trash in politics.

Trying to distract the public by discrediting and trashing Pelosi and other Dems still won't wash the stench off the Republican Party for the past eight years. Own it.

As Keith Obermann said so eloquently, "At the rate the Republican Party is going, especially with Cheney so foolishly outspoken, they are quickly going the way of the Whig Party. Who's the Whig Party? My point, exactly!"

***

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon: House speaker Nancy Pelosi says that the CIA lied to her in 2003. Yeah, apparently, they sent her a document saying that her makeup looked subtle.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Kimmel: Even NASA is feeling the effects of the economy all the way in space. It looks good. (Fake footage of guy handing out pink slip in space.) "You're fired!" (Astronaut:) "Oh terrific."

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama hosted a night of poetry and music featuring musicians, authors and poets. To which President Bush said, "Now, that's torture."

Late Show

David Letterman: Did you see this? While his holiness is away on his trip to the Middle East, rest assured the Vatican is in good hands. Pope Benedict has hired an experienced vice pope. (Photo of Cheney at Vatican with lower third that reads, "Let's waterboard some heretics.") Vice Pope Cheney let's waterboard some heretics.

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Cheeky Quote Day! 13 May 2009

WASHINGTON, DC - APRIL 28: U.S. President Barack Obama laughs during the 2012 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner held at the Washington Hilton on April 28, 2012 in Washington, DC. This was the 98th annual dinner and was hosted by Jimmy Kimmel. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)

From Denny: From the ABC network show This Week’s host, George Stephanopoulos, comes his evaluation of the best cheeky quotes from President Obama at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner that raises money for charity by roasting the politicians.

Best lines from last night's White House Correspondents' Association dinner:

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA:

-"In the next 100 days I will learn to go off the prompter, and Joe Biden will learn to stay on the prompter."

-"In the next 100 days our bipartisan outreach will be so successful that even John Boehner will consider becoming a Democrat ... After all we have a lot in common. He is a person of color... although not a color that appears in the natural world."

-"In the next 100 days we will house train our dog Bo. Because the last thing Tim Geithner needs is someone else treating him like a fire hydrant."

-"We had been rivals during the campaign. But these days we could not be closer. In fact, the second she got back from Mexico, she pulled me into a hug and gave me a big kiss. Told me I had better get down there myself."

--"Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I do have to say, this is a tough holiday for Rahm because he is not used to saying the word 'day' after 'mother.'"

President Obama:

From YouTube, Comic Wanda Sykes:

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

America to Develop High Speed Rail at Last!

From Denny: One of my pet peeves about America - how we have allowed our transportation, most notably high speed rail, fall far behind where it could be. Talk about reduce car emissions if we had far more efficient public transportation like the Europeans!

Monday, May 11, 2009

This Weeks Roundup of Sunday Funnies: Sicko Cinco de Mayo, New Dem Senator

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: See all those people on the news walking around wearing those surgical masks, huh? Suddenly Michael Jackson not so crazy, huh?

The Colbert Report

Steven Colbert: President Obama got exactly the gift he wanted, an adorable new senator [former Republican Sen. Arlen Specter]. I just hope he is housebroken.

The Late Late Show

Craig Ferguson: [Iranian President Mahmoud] Ahmadinejad complained President Obama hasn't been returning his messages. No offense, Mahmoud, but maybe he's just not that into you.

The Colbert Report

Steven Colbert: Republican Sen. Arlen Specter has contracted donkey flu. Folks, this disease is now officially out of control. Back in 2004 we thought we had it contained to the coasts and the cities, but then it mutated and tore through the country.

Note from Denny: For the folks outside of America so you don't miss out on the inside America joke: donkey flu is a code phrase for changing your political party affliation to the Democratic Party.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: Biden isn't speaking out so much lately. Today, President Obama took some action. Did you see them together? Take a look. Duct tape. Look.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Jimmy Kimmel: We have the first president ever who knows how to use Facebook, but his staff can't use Photoshop. Here it is, here is Air Force One and the Statue of Liberty, and look what else we can do. We can see President Obama walking on the wing.

Photo by Tansan @ flickr

Sunday, May 10, 2009

From the Jazz Festival: Giving Kids a Chance Thru Music

From Denny: New Orleans' Rebirth Jazz Band helps at risk kids discover and develop a new life.

Having worked with Special Needs kids myself I know how important it is to nurture young minds and hearts. When left unattended human nature turns resentful and eventually violent.

What they learn beyond music is the concept of the positive version of teamwork and emotional discipline that will carry them for a life time. This is a wonderful program producing heart-warming results!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Finding Homes for the Homeless

From Denny: Catching up on what news I've been missing while on jury duty... This is a smart solution and a heart-warming video!

Re-educating Osama Bin Ladens Disciples

From Denny: Quite a compelling short interview from a former very young disciple of the international terrorist, Bin Laden. It's interesting how when you start to mature mentally you start to suddenly see the flaws in former authority figures. Take a look. Below is the print story CBS ran in conjunction with the videos for the 60 Minutes segment that was also featured here on The Social Poets on Tuesday. (embedded video clip no longer available)

"Khalid al Jhani once followed and fought for Osama bin Laden. Now he mocks him. The former al Qaeda soldier and Guantanamo Bay inmate is a "graduate" of a reprogramming school for former jihadists in his native Saudi Arabia.

Jhani appears in a David Martin story about the Saudi program to be broadcast on 60 Minutes this Sunday, May 3, at 7 p.m. ET/PT.

Jhani is one of 117 Saudis detained in Afghanistan and Pakistan after 9/11 who ended up in Guantanamo Bay and who have been since released from the facility. Saudi Arabia - the native country of most of the 9/11 terrorists - is attempting to change the mindsets of the less violent jhadists. They seem to have succeeded with Jhani. "I call [bin Laden] a flip flop. He said 'I am not going to let you down'…but I saw that in Tora Bora…he left everybody behind him, you know?" Jhani says, laughing.

He went to Afghanistan in 1996 convinced it was the right thing to do and fought with bin Laden's forces in their last stand against the Americans in the Tora Bora Mountains. "I have been involved with this jihad thing since I was young," says Jhani, who spent four years under American guard at Guantanamo Bay. "I was believing that I had to help the Muslims and this was [the] right way to do [it]," he tells Martin.

Saudi Arabia determined that Jhani was non-violent enough for the "soft approach" rehabilitation. He not only received religious re-indoctrination, but was given therapy, a car, money to get married and the government bought him a house. These materialistic incentives aside, the religious aspect of the reprogramming may be the most important and effective says Chris Boucek of the Carnegie Endowment, who has studied Saudi Arabia's internal security programs. "If you look at how people get into violence it will tell you something about how they get out," he says. "The people who are religiously motivated …can benefit from religious discussions."

Dr. Abdul Rahman al Hadlaq, a Saudi psychiatrist involved in the rehabilitation program, says "We are getting very good results. I can say this without reservation." But so far, 10 percent of the "graduates" of this soft approach have gone back to terrorism. "It cannot be perfect," says al Hadaq. When pressed by Martin that because some jihadists can become suicide bombers, that even a 90-percent success rate may be not enough, he responds, "Let me assure you, these kinds of people you are talking about are not going to be [let] out from jail."

There are 4,000 real or suspected terrorists in Saudi jails and Boucek says that's down from a high of perhaps 12,000 swept up in a dragnet after 9/11. "There are no first or second tier level operatives in the Kingdom. They've all been killed or captured," according to Boucek. Says al Hadaq, "We have hard approach. We have soft approach."

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

How Saudis Are Rehabilitating Former Guantanamo Prisioners

"David Martin talks about his upcoming 60 Minutes report on Saudi Arabia's efforts to rehabilitate former Guantanamo prisoners and former jihadists."

From Denny: This is something everyone in America has been wondering about in the back of their minds. Just how do we clean up the Bush and Cheney years' HUGE global messes?

The Republicans held far too many political prisoners like some brutal cavalier dictatorship third-world government. Now most of those men are, well, for lack of a better word: insane. Waterboarded 185 times on one guy alone and still no usable information should tell you two things: one, that torture isn't working, and, two, that man as your prisoner has already lost his mind and isn't about to find it any time soon.

The question on everyones' minds is: What do you do with a large insane population that were driven insane first from propaganda in their own country and then by torture when captured by their enemies? Any way you look at it they are weak minds, and, therefore, also unstable and unpredictable in the long term.

This 60 Minutes segment (no longer available as an embedded clip) begins to address that question and discuss what the Saudis are trying to do to help those men regain a sound mind.

Watch CBS Videos Online

Monday, May 4, 2009

Video: Hannity Volunteers to be Waterboarded

From Denny: Keith Olbermann of MSNBC News commenting "another conservative talking big and living small" when Sean Hannity was challenged to whether he would accept to be waterboarded since he did not consider it to be torture.

Hannity claimed he would do it for charity. Obermann threw it out there he would give Hannity $1,000 per second that Hannity lasted under the torture and also demanded he be waterboarded for 183 times to fully understand the experience Hannity thinks is not torture. Watch the video to find out if Hannity was man enough to do what he claimed was no big deal.

Why is this serious video and serious subject funny? You have got to watch the video all the way through to the end to hear the incredible explanation of what goes on in the minds of these cowardly conservatives. It boggles your mind that anyone could be that stupid! Rarely do I accuse someone of being stupid but this kind of thinking really does take the prize...

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